Mary Mcilroy

The first session can be a free call giving us the opportunity to meet before commitment.  I offer Brief Counselling and aim to help you get the most from your therapy.

Can you imagine what life could be like as a result of a counsellors guidance?
I am Mary Mcilroy, an Accredited counsellor and I can help you cope when you are stuck or feeling unfulfilled.  I aim to help you change the patterns and overcome any difficulties which may be preventing you manage so maybe it's time to stop wondering what counselling can offer, and come and experience the benefits.

 I believe there is no reason for anyone to continue to feel sad, anxious or depressed. My goal is to help you understand what’s going on and improve what’s not working. I believe that negative situations can be used as a catalyst to push you forward and can even motivate you toward achieving the change you desire. Having Epilepsy myself I vow never allow life’s challenges overcome us. 

I can offer Online Anxiety, Panic & Epilepsy Counselling via Zoom, Skype or in person and have plenty of experience with difficult decision making if this is your dilemma.  I specialise in treating the range of Anxiety issues (panic attacks, confidence, relationship decisions and more) I use brief and practical counselling to provide tools and help you manage .

I now have epilepsy and face certain conditions which require a degree of creativity and resilience.  My disability is also a benefit, I have learned to work with problems until I find the solution. I studied Mindfulness Teacher training in the award winning Breathworks centre, you will be surprised how your suffering can be replaced by a love of life.  The founder of this centre won the BMA award for Popular Medicine (the category in the 2014 Medical Book Awards).  She is one of the most widely respected names in the field of Mindfulness and pain management. I am registered with Bupa and offer counselling with them.

I’m happy to work on any issue you choose.

My approach

I'm committed to providing the type of counselling I'd want for someone I love.(A cool, judgemental attitude is something you’ll never get from me).

If you want a counsellor who sits back saying “tell me more about this…….” or "Uh huh” this is not me  or  

If you want a highly intellectual type of analyst who spends multiple sessions analysing dream’s then I am not the right person for you.

I am an active counsellor who gets involved in therapy.  One who gives advice, homework, reviews and feedback on progress. I will answer most questions as I believe counselling is a collaborative process resulting in change.  My fulfilment is seeing you move forward. 

Many people have excellent insights into their issues yet are still stuck, people like this need a powerful psychological jump start to help them move forward.  Our work together will promote this movement, counselling is not a forever process. You should feel and see change happening.  I review and offer life & career coaching to help you monitor your progress.

The first session is an opportunity for us to meet and get to know each other. It will be a space for you to ask any questions you may have about me or the counselling process and to talk about what brings you to counselling.  Online counselling is an optional method for initial sessions.

Within a safe environment, you will be encouraged to take risks, try new things, and practice the change you hope to achieve.  All aspects of the counselling process are designed to help you experience real behavioural change and eliminate the problems that add to stress and impede healthy relationships.

It can be difficult to talk to those close to you as they often, understandably, struggle to remain impartial. Sometimes professional support is needed so that you can express yourself to someone who has no vested interest in you being any particular way and who will not be shocked, overwhelmed or judgemental about what you have to say.  It can be surprising how valuable it can be to have a space where you can be helped to explore for yourself what your own responses, perceptions and feelings are, to find fresh and unimagined ways of looking at problematic emotions, inner blocks, relationship difficulties & anxious situations.  Following my accreditation I have trained in Mindfulness, Relationships and practise regular meditation, all of which my client benefits from.

My Special Strengths :

One of my strengths lie in working with relationship struggles. Areas such as loneliness, difficulty getting past the first date, low self-esteem or finding a suitable partner may be causing you anxiety, depression or even issues such as panic attacks and social phobia.  Panic attacks, relationships, lack of confidence and anxiety counselling are now counselling issues I have a lot of experience with (if one such is your sore spot).

Such relationship problems can surface at any time, either within a relationship or even when single. These difficulties can show up in a variety of ways including uncertainty, distrust, anger, feeling like you are being controlled or causing you to repeat patterns in the areas of work, family, relationship and love life.

In our counselling I help you to become more confident, productive, happy and pleased with yourself. As a result you are more likely to become more genuine, reach towards your potential, more co-operative, authentic and more sought after by others.

One of my specialities is working with Stress and Anxiety:

Take a moment to read about my mission, my aim is to soothe your stress & anxiety:

At some stage we all go through difficult times that affect us physically, emotionally, and even our mental well-being.  While most people do not hesitate to go to a GP for attention, a lot of us delay seeking help for emotional or psychological needs.  As a BACP Accredited counsellor I care about your fears & sensitivities, your behaviours & embarrassments, your worrying stresses and longed for achievements.  I want you to feel comfortable and psychologically educated while we move forward.

As every individual is different and has their own different needs, I offer a range of tools and strategies through the well respected Psychosynthesis Model.  This model includes using Cognitive-Behaviour (CBT), Gestalt and many more while being supported by a leading team of supervisors and therapists myself.

Many individuals seek help for previously undiagnosed conditions which include General Anxiety Disorder (GAD), Panic Attack, Social Anxiety, Sleep difficulty, Lack of Motivation and lack of Confidence, or mystery physical issues (possibly over-eating & self-abusive addictions).  While you may be unsure what you want, and it may be difficult seeking help for undiagnosed areas, I am here to help you achieve basic symptom recognition and therapeutic process.  I believe in moving forward and achieving satisfaction which is why I review your progress at least every six weeks.  I too want to find the treatment that works to relieve your anxiety and I pride myself in this mission while providing you with a comfortable and confidential environment.

What gives me the authority to claim I am a specialist in managing anxiety?

As a person living with epilepsy for more than 20 years, I realise how harmful general anxiety is on our health in many ways.  I have experimented with various means of controlling seizures and found one common theme in triggering them:

When I am under stress physically, emotionally, or mentally I pay the price and my number of seizures increases.

When I monitor and apply strategies the length of time between my seizure’s quadruples.  My anxiety tools have changed feelings of terror about epilepsy to feelings of Blaise.  My sleepless nights of worrying are no more.  My personal anxiety level has dropped from 8/10 to 2/10.

This process of taming my own anxiety has contributed towards achieving BACP Accreditation while giving me the confidence to claim I can help other people’s anxiety in many areas.   

I believe there is no reason for anyone to continue feel anxious or depressed and also believe that negative situations can be used as a catalyst to push you forward and even motivate you toward achieving the lasting changes you desire. As a person with epilepsy, I had to learn how to turn a disability into an advantage and how to cope with self-esteem issues, relationship difficulties, stress, panic attacks and anxiety. In addition I have studied Mindfulness Meditation which I practise daily and often introduce in sessions to help calm anxiety and ease depression.  I believe managing your weight and managing your life are interwoven, I can provide the psychological interventions to help you create & achieve your personal plan.

I strive to help people with anxiety disorders achieve a calm confidence and those with relationship difficulties to find a heart-felt resolution, in addition:
I can help those who are in crisis or have general depression, anxiety, panic attacks or stress, with:   life & career coaching, confidence building relationship issues(& sexual dysfunction). I can help them figure out ways to resolve their difficulties, traumas, gain happiness and pursue life goals. Counselling also helps to examine and modify any long-standing patterns that may interfere with a client's functioning, relationships, sexuality issues and quality of life.

I provide tools to help with all above difficulties.  I continuously research areas area of areas of anxiety in order to advance my clients process.  I am also pleased to say I assist in tutoring in advanced counselling in anxiety areas. 

I work as a counsellor in London Bridge, Central London, North London &  Muswell Hill.  I can happily provide counselling online. You can contact me online from the comfort of your home via Zoom or Skype.
Contact me for more information:
website:   https://www.m-mcilroycounselling.com
email:       mcilroy.mary@gmail.com
phone:      07769 218281

Although I focus on anxiety, depression, confidence and relationship difficulties I have a wide range of experience counselling people with other issues.  I believe all issues overlap and I enjoy helping people inside the therapy room to bring that joy outside into their life.  If I have not listed your particular issue above please feel free to contact me.

I’ve always believed that we can get more out of life if we’re willing to change. And I know now that change is possible in the deepest sense you can imagine.  Years ago, after studying in Dublin (where I'm from) I pulled up my roots and became a Londoner.

My education and training continued in London with a B.A. in Business Studies (parallel to a banking career) then later a PGCE in Education. Next step volunteering for Victim support and then a counselling career.  I have since counselled a wide variety of problems for over two decades. I have always been drawn to helping people and this brought me to work in counselling services, which provided me with a new sense of purpose in what I was doing.

The issues that bring my patients into treatment are usually highly specific. A difficult transition in life, work stress, relationship difficulties, sexual issues, anxiety and more.  I’ve noticed that when they improve in that one area, they often report an ability to solve problems and enjoy life more in other areas as well. How can that be?

After looking into the matter, I believe it reflects what is called neuroplasticity— the brain’s amazing ability to literally rewire itself through a process of concerted thinking, learning, and acting.

It’s the same process that shapes a child’s abilities in the first place. And that, I think, helps explain why warmth and caring on the part of a counsellor — much like that of a good parent — is essential to successful treatment. As one review of more than 500 studies of the effect of therapeutic empathy has concluded, “the evidence is nothing short of amazing.”

If you’re having a difficult relationship in work or your private life, or if you’re scarcely having any relationships at all, give me a call. If you are suffering from anxiety, panic attacks, stress, bereavement, loneliness, sexual issues or a host of other difficulties do not hesitate, contact me. You were meant to do better.

One final thought: as a counsellor I always enjoy seeing patients become energised and optimistic, especially when relationship issues are involved. We human beings are constructed to get most of our fulfilment from how well we relate to others.

It's important for me to be able to offer my clients 'cutting edge' aspects of psychotherapy and counselling hence I have trained to teach Mindfulness in order to maximise the benefits of my service.  (I have studied Mindfulness Meditation which I practise daily and often introduce in sessions to help ease anxiety, lift depression and resolve other difficulties).

I started to work as a counsellor for charities and private organisations over 18 years ago. I have worked for MIND where I counselled for suicidal ideation and severe mental health issues.  I have since trained with Relate where I volunteer as a couple counsellor.

I am now Accredited by the British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy (BACP) with whom I hold an MBACP.

Together we will examine and modify any long-standing patterns that may interfere with your functioning, relationships and quality of life.  In addition I treat those with anxiety, panic attacks, stress, confidence issues, low self-esteem, loneliness, relationship issues and more in London Bridge, The City of London, SE1, Muswell Hill, North London, N10 & Central London.

My counselling in Muswell Hill, N10, North London is close to the following areas:
Finchley, Highgate, Crouch End, Archway, Finsbury Park, Southgate, Barnet, Bounds Green, Wood Green, Arnos Grove, Alexandra Palace, Cockfosters, Oakwood

As a counsellor & therapist in London Bridge I'm close to the following tubes and rail stations:

Aldgate Tube, Bank Station, The Barbican, Blackfriars, Canon Street, King William station, Liverpool St station, Lothbury Tube, Ludgate Circus Tube, Mansion House Tube, Mark Lane Tube, Moorgate station, St Pauls station, The City of London square.

Both locations are within either North London, Muswell Hill, N10  Central London, London Bridge, SE1, Westminster, Liverpool st / The City of London.

I am experienced in counselling clients who have difficulties including:

• anxiety / general anxiety disorder
• depression
• addiction
• anger
• loneliness
• sadness / lonely
• loss
• confidence, self esteem, life coaching
• bereavement
• relationship difficulties
• stress
• panic-attacks
• weight-loss

How I can help:

For counselling to work we build a relationship based on trust. During the process you will be listened to with empathy while you feel and see change happen as anxiety melts away.  I consult with leading supervisors and top psychotherapists in confidence to ensure quality therapy for my clients.

Sadly there is no magic. I can't prescribe you with pills or lotions. There is no lying down on a couch with me sitting in a white coat pen and paper in hand. Instead, we will sit in comfy chairs and you will do most of the talking, I do the listening and together we reflect and arrive at the 'right answer' for you. In therapy we will discuss the behaviours which you then need to practise in life outside, an effort from both of us helps to bring forth the change you long for.

Testimonials  I have over 17 years experience and the following people felt recovered enough to state:

"I had 12 sessions with Mary and she helped me a great deal. I found her very intuitive, calm, kind and patient. I definitely benefitted hugely from my weekly hour with her and she enabled me to really move forward" Client with confidence, stress and depression issues.

"I came to Mary with self confidence issues and anxiety, particularly in social situations. During my sessions with Mary I was able to confront the reasons for my feelings of anxiety and develop new ways of thinking that have helped me immensely in moving forward in a positive direction. Mary's calm and patient approach was exactly what I needed and I'm extremely grateful for her help in working towards a better me" Client with anxiety and confidence issues.

"Mary helped me through a difficult period of my life. I had twelve sessions with her, which helped me to see more clearly and to overcome some grief and relationship issues I had. She is easy to talk to, very kind and wise. I would recommend her to anyone with similar problems."

Linking Thinking with Confidence:

Tell yourself:

• The people who look beautiful are the same as you, the difference is they tell themselves they look good, that shines through.
• The people who say the most profound witty things as the same as you, they are letting go and being who they are.
• The people who appear confident and relaxed are no different, they push themselves through fearful situations and tell themselves they can make it.
• The people who are successful are the same as you, they tell themselves go ahead and develop your gifts and talents, set goals.
• We are all the same as the people on TV. It's what we tell ourselves that makes the difference.
• So give yourself a big hug, tell yourself you are alright, you can be wonderful. Is a change of thinking needed? Anon

Friedrich Nietzsche, “He who has a why to live can bear almost any how.”

For further testimonials please read my website www.m-mcilroycounselling.com/ 

I am a counsellor in London Bridge SE1, offer therapy in the City of London and also offer counselling in Muswell Hill, N10, North London. I work online and face to face.

Although my work covers many areas those I mainly work in are:

Relationship & family difficulties, stress & anxiety, helping single people change recurring patterns (indecision, social phobias) career dilemmas, the aftermath of divorce.

I offer a safe and supportive environment for short-term or long-term therapy. Many people find the session room becomes a haven for expressing feelings that they believed will be harshly judged elsewhere. Providing a safe place gives them some relief, because they are so self-critical. Treatment is collaborative and pragmatic usually resulting in the following long-term benefits:

Increasing the skills you need to help manage your emotions.
Providing you with psychological tools to help you cope with externally imposed difficulties.

Finding solutions for main areas of stress and helping make most appropriate decisions.

Helping you become all you can be and helping you discover your path to fulfilment.

In addition to helping individuals recover from the aftermath of trauma, I offer treatment for anxiety, relationships, coaching, life and career related stress. I also help people push through feelings of sadness, loneliness, anxiety & depression into happiness. I strive to enable people to become all that they can be. I believe my work as a counsellor & therapist is enriched by my earlier work and training in the fields of education & business studies.

When considering therapy it is natural not to be clear about the length and depth of engagement that is right for you. I recommend that you get in touch and we can arrange an initial meeting by phone (no charge). This will be an opportunity to get to know each other a little, see how it goes and then decide if therapy feels right.

My fees are £60 for individuals & £80 for couples      

Initial telephone consultation is free.

After 6 weeks I like to review so you can see what changes have occurred and then you decide whether to continue and how long for. Ending well is our focus from the start.

I require a minimum of 48 hours cancellation notice.

At the moment I offer in person and online sessions via Zoom or Skype.

Start, just see how it goes and you may be pleasantly surprised.
I can offer day or evening sessions, some flexibility in session dates is possible.

Online or face to face

Muswell Hill N10, North London, London Bridge SE1.

My Counselling in Muswell Hill, North London N10 address is easily accessible

Tubes convenient for Muswell Hill N10 are: Highgate and Bounds Green

It is easy to access my premises in The City of London / Central London, London Bridge SE1, it is a 5 minute walk from London Bridge station, Bank, Liverpool St, Holborn, Westminster.

For my regular articles on anxiety, stress, depression, relationships, self-esteem...... refer to:

www.m-mcilroycounselling.com

Linking Thinking with Confidence

Tell yourself:

The people who look beautiful are the same as you, the difference is they tell themselves they look good, that shines through.
The people who say the most profound witty things as the same as you, they are letting go and being who they are.
The people who appear confident and relaxed are no different, they push themselves through fearful situations and tell themselves they can make it.
The people who are successful are the same as you, they tell themselves go ahead and develop your gifts and talents, set goals.
We are all the same as the people on TV. It's what we tell ourselves that makes the difference.   So give yourself a big hug, tell yourself you are alright, you can be wonderful. Is a change of thinking needed?       Anon

As a person who developed epilepsy as an adult, I had to learn how to turn a disability into an advantage and how to handle stress and anxiety. If panic attacks or General Anxiety Disorder is your issue I might be the right counsellor for you.